Posted by: Cathy | October 19, 2015

“I need to be deeper, more often”

Coach Blog 101915 go deeper clam Here is another personal insight I got from the Shining Academy Shining Day retreat (affiliate link).

We were talking about processing emotions, about going deep to heal stuff so you can bring lessons back to share with others.

This is what I wrote in my notes (I have Pisces rising):
“Pisces is at home in the ocean; ‘real life’ is the kiddy pool. I need to be deeper, more often.”

Obviously, my business is called Exploring Your Depths. There are some areas where I naturally go deep, and others where I’ve been skirting around, spying on the theme of “depths” but resistant to plunge in.

Some places where I’m happy to go deep:
* I am an introvert and I prefer to have a few, intimate friendships rather than be casually friendly with lots of people.
* I’ve always (since high school, anyway) loved LONG books, like Tolstoy; books where I can stick with the characters for a long journey. I’ve never found short stories satisfying.
* I’m happy to get deeply lost in my creativity and fictional worlds. I’d rather be writing or reading or drawing or watching movies.
* I don’t enjoy dating, I’d rather jump into a romantic relationship and really dig into another person.
* I’m fascinated by dreams and the subconscious mind; I love sleeping late on the weekends because it gives me a better chance to remember my dreams.
* Two of my favorite meditation visualizations involve floating in a kelp forest and orbiting the planet Neptune (who is the ruler of Pisces).

Some places where I resist going deep:
* I’ve been talking for a couple of years now about trying a crying practice to process emotions but I haven’t implemented it.
* I’ve also been talking for a couple of years now about getting a kraken tattoo, but I want to draw it myself and haven’t made time to play with the design.
* I know that many people find journaling to be beneficial and healing, but I start and stop journaling. I think I’m afraid to go deep into the heavy stuff and not be able to get back out (I went through a period of depression in high school).

I’ve been craving more depth, though; more significance and more intensity. I’m not sure what this looks like yet; I’m tip-toeing in. I’m aware of the calling and I refuse to ignore it.

What is calling you?
Where do you allow or disallow that calling in your life?
How can you turn more toward what is calling you?

I’d like you to think about those questions while I figure it out for myself, too, and I hope to have some exercises and things to help soon!

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