This month’s coach nibble comes from anonymous, again: “I’m usually an optimistic person, but the other day I was getting a little down thinking about how I’d like a long-term relationship and wondering how to find one. I’m getting older, so my body hasn’t been in the best shape. I’m an introvert, so I don’t enjoy the dating scene. And it’s not like you can just wake up one day and pick out a partner … it’s a long process and I don’t know how to maximize the likelihood that I’ll find someone. I’d like to share my life with someone, but I’m wondering if I missed my best chances. How can I flip this thinking? I know odds are better to attract someone if I’m in a more positive mental place.”
First off, I want to say that you’re never too old to find love and partnership. I’ve read articles about 90-year olds who met in nursing homes and fell in love. You never know what can and will happen, so try not to put an expiration date on yourself and just be open to new opportunities.
Secondly, one of my idols, Denise Linn, likes to say that if you want something to change, you need to do something differently. If you haven’t found dating success with online matching sites, try going to an in-person speed-dating session or an interesting meet-up group in your town. Look for ways to do something differently so you can meet new people.
Thirdly, other than just dating, try to meet new people in general. With new friends in your life, you expand your social network and get out to do more things. Who knows whether a new friend’s friend has a cute cousin, or you meet someone at a summer picnic at the park while you’re having lunch with a pal.
Lastly, I have a semi-spiritual comment about this. It occurred to me that our past loved ones in spirit are just a thought away, because time and space don’t exist in that other realm; so if you believe in a dimension where there is no time or space, then you and your future partner are already together in that place too. Tap into that space during a meditation or prayer and tell your future partner how much you love him/her. Check in there whenever you feel a little down about not having him/her yet in your present.
As a creative way to work through some of the low energy, consider doing a doodle or collage to celebrate love in your life today. Use all kinds of lovely things in your piece, from your friends and family to favorite hobbies, movies, songs, and food! Celebrate love in all of its forms and you invite more love to enter your life.
What do you think about this advice? I’d love to know them in the comments or on Facebook!
Check out the coach nibble information page if you’d like to submit a topic for a future coach nibble. All suggestions are entered in a monthly drawing!