Posted by: Cathy | June 18, 2014

Guest post: Nurturing Your Self by Natalie Koroeva

When I think of nurturing – I think of others: my children, husband, parents, pets, even plants come to mind first! My needs, dreams and desires are last on the list. I have a feeling that I am not alone in this – we, women (and mothers especially!) tend to put ourselves last when it comes to nurturing.

I love this quote by Sandra Magsamen, author of “Living Artfully”:

“To grow anything, we must nurture it, give it love, shower it with attention, tend to it with patience, care for it with kindness and have faith in it.”

Nurturing ourselves is not just a “nice” thing to do (someday, when we have extra time…) – it is essential and necessary for our growth! Just like all those close to us, our Self needs to be nurtured with love, attention, patience and kindness too. I have experienced this firsthand, when I decided to give myself an hour of “me” time everyday. During this time I take 20 minutes of quiet time, followed by a walk in nature and some writing or reading. All very simple things – nothing fancy or extravagant. On the other hand, as a busy mom of two little girls, I thought I had no “extra” time to take a whole hour to be by myself. But when I made this commitment, circumstances changed, I fund the time (right before noon), the perfect place (an empty Cabana building) and the desire (it’s the best time of my day now!). Many wonderful changes came as a result… I am a lot more relaxed, calm, productive and fulfilled. I also feel important, cared for and nurtured by tending to my needs.

Rather then waiting to be nurtured by others or until we have some extra time – lets tend to our Self daily so we may grow and blossom like a beautiful flower… We are so conditioned to be selfless and
nurturing to others, that many have forgotten how to care for our own needs.

Following are a few ways to get started to care for Your Self more:

* Imagine, there’s a special person in your life, your best friend, that you would like to shower with some love and attention… How are you going to do that? Are going to spend more time with that person, give them special gifts, say kind words of appreciation, will you write them a letter or a card, create a handmade gift, treat them to a dinner or special event, throw them a surprise party? Maybe, there is a real person in your life that you can think about and write down all the things you would do for that person. Now, look at the list you have made and imagine that you are that special friend. You can now pretend to be Your Best Friend do all those nice things for yourself!

* You could also take some quiet time alone to reflect on your deepest needs and desires. Make three columns on the page: one for Body, Mind and Spirit and write down all the things your Body, Mind and Spirit crave. Here’s an example of mine:

BODY – alone time, time in nature, walking
MIND – learning, reading, creative expression
SPIRIT – quiet time, journaling/writing, prayer or meditation

* Another great way to get in touch with the place within yourself that needs to be nurtured, is by writing a letter to Your Self. To get started, get in a quiet space, give your mind time to reflect and begin writing a letter… (feel free do modify and personalize your letter anyway you wish).

My dearest Self,

I am writing to let you know that…
I wanted to thank you for…
I appreciate all of your…
I am so proud of you for …
I am also sorry for …
I miss…
I wish …
I want to …

I love you,

Sign Your Name

When you are done with your letter, sign and date it. If you feel really adventurous, mail it to yourself. Or you can put it in a special place – and read it again when you feel ready to. After you’ve read your letter, write a reply from the Self to you, using the following format (feel free to modify):

My Dearest (your name),

Thank for your letter. After reading it I …
I wanted you to know that …
I feel that …
I really would like …
What I need the most …
My dream is …
My biggest longing is…
My deepest desire for you is …
I imagine …

with my Deep Love,

Your Self

Reflect on what your Self deeply desires. Then, make a commitment to incorporate those needs into your daily life. Many of them don’t take a long time and make a big difference in the way we feel. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, 5 minutes of quiet time alone, eating your lunch outside, taking a nice bath, lightning a candle for dinner, using the “nice” dishes for yourself, writing in your journal, doodling or drawing, scheduling a time in the spa or taking a whole day off for a mini-vacation or a retreat – all these things are message to your beautiful, radiant, eternal Self that You are important, loved, cared for … nurtured.

“When you assess your own life, consider it with the eye of a gardener. Underneath the surface lies rich, fertile soil waiting to nurture the seeds you sow. Even more than you can imagine will grow there if given a chance.” ― Steve Goodier

Coach Blog 061814 NKoroeva ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natalie Koroleva is an ARTbundance Coach and Practitioner who loves to inspire growth, learning and transformation in herself and others. She loves all types of creative expression: music, art, poetry, fashion, writing… She’s passionate about a healthy lifestyle, healing with essential oils and all things creative, which she writes about in her blogs and You can connect with her via Facebook.


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