Growing up, I thought I was born in the wrong body. Correct gender, mind you, just the wrong body. I’m…hairy. Not just a couple extra bits here and there, but hairy. I am a chick blessed with a thick head of coarse, dark hair; dark arm hair; crazy, fast-growing leg hair; well, I’ll leave you with that so I don’t scar you for life.
I remember reading an article about a transgendered woman in Reader’s Digest as a kid. I thought, maybe I’m supposed to be a dude, I already had the hair going on. I was confused for a bit before I decided, no, I’m definitely a female, I was just super hairy.
Elementary school sucked. I wasn’t allowed to shave until I was ten. Wearing skirts and shorts were a “heck no, that ain’t happening” until I could get my hands on a razor and shave this stuff. At one point, I did get ahold of a razor before my tenth birthday and I snuck in a shave above the knee so no one would know. I got the lovely present of razor burn and cuts; it was painful! I resolved not to touch a razor until I was older, because of course then I’d know how to use one, right?
Tenth birthday came and went, more razor burn, cuts, pain, and ridicule from classmates. Surely being ten was supposed to magically turn one into a shaving goddess, right? Nope, I stopped trying until I was forced to wear terrifying short shorts for gym class in middle school. It was a daily horrible experience.
One good thing did come from middle school though. I learned to start embracing my “weird”, a lifelong journey we all take. All the other girls in my grade had the nice light arm hair, or they shaved it. A girl came up to me in math class one day and asked me why I didn’t shave my arms. They were like a guys and it grossed her out. My response: “I choose to be comfortable in my own skin. I don’t have to please you one bit, and if it grosses you out, don’t look at me. I’m not here to make you happy.” Then I walked away. It clicked. I don’t have to change myself to make anyone else happy, certainly not a classmate.
If you’re comfortable with the way you are, life is going to be so much easier. Of course, there will be days when you feel like crap, where you wish this wasn’t your dealie-o; it happens. Just roll with it and get back to your awesome self as soon as you can. Discover why the feelings popped up first so you can work through them. You’ll be even stronger in the end.
Sierra is an enthusiastic Reiki practitioner and is obsessed with crystals. She describes herself as a half-crazed lunatic who works in a room of massive creativity making awesome things for the world. You can find her at reikiplayground.com where she roams free with unicorns and dragons as companions.