Posted by: Cathy | April 10, 2013

Drama Magnets and Flavor-of-the-month Problems

Some people like drama. I am not one of those people, but I know a few. If they don’t have enough drama in their lives, they attract or invent it. They are drama magnets.

Drama is not very helpful in real life. By its very definition, dramatizing is adding emotion to a situation (“to express or represent vividly, emotionally, or strikingly.”). A synonym for “dramatize” is “exaggerate.” Why would you want to exaggerate or emotionally charge a problem? That doesn’t help you solve it and it drains your energy.

If you have too much drama in your life, pause for a moment and figure out where it’s coming from.

Coach Blog 041013 First of all, check to see if it is your drama or if someone else is trying to pull you into their drama. If it’s not yours, get rid of it. If this person accuses you of being unsympathetic by avoiding their problem, just say “I’m sorry you’re going through that, but I have a lot on my plate right now and need to concentrate on my own stuff. I really hope it works out for you.”

Secondly, ask yourself if this drama or something like it has happened before. If it’s part of a pattern, do some journaling or talk to a trusted friend to get at the root of it and try to work through it. Don’t just accept drama as a part of your life; if you can work through the pattern, you free up mental space and emotionally energy to work on other things, and you might gain skills or learn something valuable in the process.

Thirdly, look at how often drama pops up in your life and why. Have the issues been valid or did you invent them? I refer to invented issues as flavor-of-the-month problems. These are problems for the sake of having something to complain about; anything will do so long as it keeps you from making progress.

Here are some examples of flavor-of-the-month problems:
* Wallowing in procrastination or another bad habit
* Letting disorganization keep you stuck
* Languishing in research or planning instead of moving forward
* Avoiding a small, key step in your process, like learning a new software program or buying a piece of equipment

Flavor-of-the-month problems are mostly psychological; they are masking some other issue. Think about why you are using it as an excuse. Maybe you need a fallow period and should just rest for a few weeks, but don’t feel guilty about it; give yourself permission to rest. If you don’t need rest, figure out what your issue really is. If it’s procrastination, what is the fear or insecurity behind it? If it’s needing a new skill or resource, what is preventing you from obtaining it?

Don’t let drama or flavor-of-the-month problems keep you from your dreams! Work through the issues and move forward.

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Responses

  1. Flavor of the month problems. Yup and yup. We’ll need to discuss that in our coaching session…. 🙂


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